The Kind of Support Only Other Moms Can Offer

If you’ve ever thought that you were the only one feeling overwhelmed, think again. Recent research shows the mental burden on moms is real and it's taking a toll. Almost nine in 10 women said they felt solely responsible for organizing schedules of the family, a recent study found.  “Women are 2x more likely to be managing the household and 3x more likely to be managing their children’s schedules,” according to the 2017 Modern Family Index.

Bottom line? All of this is taking a toll on us moms according a recent study by Arizona State University.

While we might take comfort in knowing we’re not the only one, where does that leave us? Exhausted and in a state of chronic stress.

Rather than commiserate, it’s time to use this common state of overwhelm to band together and make a change. 

We get it. Social media and group chats have been helpful to stay connected with friends dating back to high school and even other Moms. But are those people really in your life and is it helping or hurting your well-being?  Keep reading.

In the first experimental study of Facebook, Snapchat, and Instagram use, psychologist Melissa G. Hunt showed a causal link between time spent on the platforms and decreased well-being.  Hunt's advice?  “In general, I would say, put your phone down and be with the people in your life.” 

One of the top negative impacts of social media on our well-being is that there's a big difference between interacting with strangers and long-lost friends on Facebook vs. actually hanging out in real life. Social media which is designed to help people connect to one another can actually cause a disconnect. It lacks a physical connection which can lead to a feeling of loneliness and isolation.  Nevermind the anxiety that it causes many of us.

This is the irony of motherhood. We can’t use the bathroom without being interrupted but in many ways, we feel alone.  What we're just learning is the impact on the health and well-being of us and our families.

A recent study finds that the influence of social relationships on the risk of death is comparable with well-established risk factors for mortality such as smoking and alcohol consumption and exceeds the influence of other risk factors such as physical inactivity and obesity.  In short, the quality and quantity of our social relationships has been linked not only to our mental health but also to both our morbidity and mortality.

“Women often are conditioned to be nurturers and to put aside their own needs to tend to the needs of others,” - Arlie Russell Hochschild, Professor Emerita at The University of California, Berkeley asserts.  So, while we’re busy taking care of everyone else, we are neglecting our own emotional and social needs.

Similar to being in an airplane, we have to put our own oxygen mask on first.

Trust me, I’VE BEEN THERE.  I’m guessing you’re already never getting to the end of your daily to-do list, so how could you think about adding “build a village” to your list? Consider that modern life isn’t setting us up for success. Think about it. Our ancestors who lived in a village had an entire community to draw on to meet their basic needs. If you’re a 21st century mom, you’re more like a one-woman village.

It’s no wonder:

-9 out 10 of moms feel solely responsible for organizing schedules of the family
-90% of mothers feel lonely since having children
-and 54 percent felt “friendless” after giving birth.

In other words, more than ever. 

We're here to support Moms everywhere to powerfully interrupt the erosion of their self-care and connection with others due to Moms' instinctual desire to take care of our kids first.